This week’s devotions are based on Week 3 of Stormproof – Hurricanes of Hurt (CLICK HERE)
When we are hurt by someone, the impact is real and lasting.
Especially hurts that are very personal, very emotional and very wrong.
How does one heal after abuse? An ugly divorce? A business partnership gone wrong?
It’s not easy. Professional counseling may be needed.
However, when we have been wronged in any way, but especially something very horrific, it is very hard to forgive that person.
Years after the divorce, a woman said, “After all he did to me and my children, I just can’t forgive him.”
After discussion, here are four clarifications that were helpful.
- Forgiveness does not make the horrific actions and impact of what a person did ok. To forgive someone implies that what they did was wrong and they sinned against you. It does not make what happened OK.
- Forgiveness does not mean that a person has to once again put themselves in a situation where they will be harmed. Forgiveness does not mean a person will be trusted again.
- Forgiveness does not mean the impact is gone. Forgiving one who wronged you doesn’t mean the effect of that action disappears. The divorce is still real. The emotional scars don’t fully disappear.
- Forgiveness does not mean that one forgets. So often the phrase is said, “You have to forgive and forget.” Forgiveness is not like a reformatting of one’s brain so that you can’t remember anything that happened. The memories don’t go away.
- Forgiveness does not mean that one might still pursue legal action. One may choose not to, however inviting the legal system to adjudicate a wrong may still be pursued.
So what is forgiveness and why forgive those who have hurt you.
- Forgiveness gives up the right to get even. When we are hurt, our natural response is to have the person who hurt us hurt more. Forgiveness frees our heart to allow the judicial system and/or the Lord to handle the justice. Romans 12:19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.
- Forgiveness of others reflects the forgiveness we have been given by Jesus. As we pray in the Lord’s Prayer, “Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.” When we forgive others, we reflect the fact God is no longer going to seek vengeance for our sin. He has done that in his Son Jesus.
- Forgiveness releases my heart from anger, rage, and bitterness. Forgiveness allows my heart to be free from carrying the emotional heaviness of getting even. Ephesians 4:31-32 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
The Christian is not immune from hurt, sometimes very serious hurts. Yet, one of the great blessings of being a Christian is we live in the personal forgiveness the Lord gives. He doesn’t keep a record of our hurts/sins toward him. As a result, we can take the same forgiveness we have received and share it with others who have hurt us…as hard as that can sometimes be.
Psalm 130:3 If you, Lord, kept a record of sins,
Lord, who could stand?
4 But with you there is forgiveness,
so that we can, with reverence, serve you.
Apply: Forgiveness can be hard. Ask the Lord to work in you the ability to forgive someone who has wronged you. If you know someone struggling to forgive and this devotion was helpful, forward it on to them!
Prayer: Lord, forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us. AMEN.