Express Love…God’s Way: Words of Affirmation
Devotions this week based on the Message: “Counterfeit Gods: The Heartbreak of Love”
(NOTE: This sermon series and devotional series is based on a book by Tim Keller entitled, Counterfeit Gods.
You may choose to download or purchase the book as a supplement to your worship and devotional emails.)
“Job well done!”
“You’re amazing!”
“I love your talent!”
“You’ve made such a difference!”
These phrases and many others can fill a soul with encouragement and motivation. In a culture where we are quick to slander, demean, divide, and criticize, words of affirmation and encouragement stand out like a lighthouse on a dark night.
We all need encouragement. We all need affirmation.
Especially individuals whose love tank is filled with words of affirmation. A long, hard discouraging day can be made right with a spouse saying, “I love you and am so proud of you and how hard you work.” A day of frustration and challenges can be overcome with a simple, “You are beautiful and amazing and I love that I get to spend my life with you.”
Words of encouragement fill the soul. Especially words from our loving heavenly Father. Consider how he loves us with words of encouragement.
He affirmed Jesus as his son…he affirms us as his children:
Matthew 3:17 And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”
Galatians 3: 26 So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, 27 for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.
He calls us his chosen, special people:
1 Peter 2:9 But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.
He commends our work in his name:
1 Corinthians 15:58 “Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.”
Matthew 25:23 “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’
So again we have God’s wonderful example of love by words of affirmation to fill our soul so that we can in turn love others with words of encouragement and affirmation. We need it…so do they. Here’s God’s encouragement to love with words of affirmation:
Hebrews 10:24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
Proverbs 16:24 Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
Take time today to share a word of encouragement and affirmation to someone who has impacted and blessed your life today!
Apply: Here’s again some ideas on how to love with words of affirmation: Thank you this week to the blog post: https://www.ftd.com/blog/celebrate/love-language-ideas for some great ideas!
For Significant Other
- Leave them a sticky note on the bathroom mirror saying “I love you”
- Compliment a project they’ve recently finished
- Send them a letter in the mail telling them you appreciate them
- Share something nice they did on Facebook or Instagram
- Give them a phone call just to say how much you love them
For Kids
- Give them a bracelet that says “I love you” to wear
- Hang their art on the fridge and tell them how much you love it
- Tell them you appreciate them when they do their chores
- Share five reasons why you love them
Prayer: Heavenly Father, thank you for loving us always and for communicating your love for us in your affirming words of truth and encouragement. Help us to love others with words of affirmation to fill their soul with “gracious words.” AMEN.
Express Love…God’s Way: Physical Touch
Devotions this week based on the Message: “Counterfeit Gods: The Heartbreak of Love”
(NOTE: This sermon series and devotional series is based on a book by Tim Keller entitled, Counterfeit Gods.
You may choose to download or purchase the book as a supplement to your worship and devotional emails.)
CoVid has been hard for people who have the love language of physical touch. “Stay six feet apart.” “Don’t gather close together.”
For some who hate hugs, CoVid has been a blessing! However, for those who both love to give and receive love through physical touch, it has been challenging.
People who love to hug and be hugged are probably people who have the love language of physical touch. There is something about the human connection that God has wired when a hand is held, a hug is given, or an arm is put around someone’s shoulder.
Obviously I am not talking about or condoning inappropriate touch or simply touching people for your own satisfaction – that is not loving.
But when we are in proximity to people and give them an embrace it communicates care, connection, and concern. Someone who is grieving a loss can remain silent but feel completely loved in the arms of a friend. A husband and wife enjoy the daily hug or the romantic moments.
You know too that when hugging and hand holding stop, something is wrong. Physical touch is withheld when the relationship is strained. It’s an indicator of closeness.
CoVid or not, we can love appropriately with physical touch. Consider some of the ways God designed and Jesus loved with physical touch.
- God designed a committed marriage relationship to enjoy the most intimate and connected form of physical touch.
Genesis 2:24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
- Jesus added to his healing the physical touch to add a communication of care and love…especially to one with leprosy!
Luke 8:2 A man with leprosy came and knelt before him and said, “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.” 3 Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. “I am willing,” he said. “Be clean!” Immediately he was cleansed of his leprosy.
- Jesus’ touch was calming of fears (Transfiguration)
Matthew 17:6 When the disciples heard this, they fell facedown to the ground, terrified. 7 But Jesus came and touched them. “Get up,” he said. “Don’t be afraid.” 8 When they looked up, they saw no one except Jesus.
- Touch was a way God conferred blessings and gifts to his people.
Mark 10:15 Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” 16 And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them.
Acts 8:15 When they arrived, they prayed for the new believers there that they might receive the Holy Spirit, 16 because the Holy Spirit had not yet come on any of them; they had simply been baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus. 17 Then Peter and John placed their hands on them, and they received the Holy Spirit.
As the Lord expresses his love with his presence and touch, enjoy expressing your love to others with physical touch appropriately and lovingly given!
Apply: Here’s some ideas to express love to those whose love language is physical touch: (https://www.ftd.com/blog/celebrate/love-language-ideas)
For Significant Other
- Give them a backscratch or a massage—before they ask for one
- Put your arm around them or hold their hand while you’re out in public
- Give them a hug or a kiss, just because
- Schedule cuddling or snuggling time as a date
- Take them out for a night of dancing
For Kids
- Let them sit on your lap while you read to them
- Style their hair for them or help them get dressed
- Give them a surprise piggyback ride around the house
- Hold their hand while shopping together
- Cuddle them to help them fall asleep
Prayer: Lord Jesus, thank you for reaching out in love to touch the untouchable and communicate your love and care by being in close proximity to us. AMEN.
Express Love God’s Way: Give Gifts
Devotions this week based on the Message: “Counterfeit Gods: The Heartbreak of Love”
(NOTE: This sermon series and devotional series is based on a book by Tim Keller entitled, Counterfeit Gods.
You may choose to download or purchase the book as a supplement to your worship and devotional emails.)
The paper is intriguing. The anticipation is grueling. The opening is exhilarating!
Everybody likes to receive gifts. Especially as a kid, the countdown to your birthday and Christmas were front and center for weeks. The time to open gifts was the highlight of the year!
While I would say everyone loves to receive gifts, to some gifts are a heightened expression of love. Gifts mean you thought of me. Gifts mean you understand what is important to me. Gifts mean you took time to find the perfect expression of you. Gifts communicate love.
For those whose love language is gifts, it is not necessarily the dollar amount the gift costs, but the thought that it communicates. A dollar gift from the Dollar Store could say more than a large diamond ring simply because the thought and application of the gift was more significant.
As with the first two love languages, gifts are part of expression of love and receiving love because God is a giver of gifts. As with all our expressions of love, consider the generosity, thoughtfulness and expense God went through to give us what we need. God’s giving of gifts to us is to fill us and enable us to give good gifts to others. Consider just a few:
- At the heart of God is the giving of gifts, good gifts, to those he loves.
“God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son…” (John 3:16)
- Every gift has as its source, our heavenly Father.
“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows” (James 1:17).
- Our Father invites us to ask for gifts and knows how to give good gifts to us.
Luke 7:9-11 “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!
- The greatest gift we have received is the gift of grace.
Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in[b] Christ Jesus our Lord.
- God’s Spirit gives special gifts for ministry.
1 Corinthians 12:4 There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them.
Make a list today of all the gifts that God has given to you.
God is not a giver so we can just be receivers. God gives a) to bless us and b) to encourage us to be givers.
Sometimes we withhold loving with gifts and generosity because we have a “scarcity mindset.” Look at God’s wisdom in Proverbs 11:24, “One person gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty.” The truth is that the giving of gifts is always a blessing to the recipient AND the giver. As Jesus taught, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ”(Acts 20:35).
So enjoy both the gifts God has given, and with the same thought-filled, conscientious, loving way, enjoy giving gifts to express your love and God’s love to others.
Apply: Here’s some gift giving ideas to express love through the giving of gifts! (Ideas from https://www.ftd.com/blog/celebrate/love-language-ideas)
- Bring them their favorite flowers, just because
- Buy them something they’ve been wanting for awhile
- Send them a surprise package at work
- Make them a mix of songs and explain why you chose each song for them
- Sign them up for a class they’ve been wanting to take
- Buy them a new outfit and lay it out on their bed
- Let them pick out one new toy at the store
- Surprise them with a present on an obscure holiday
- Pack a small gift in their backpack
- Get them their favorite treat at the grocery store
Prayer: Dear Lord, thank you for being a giving God. Lead me to always be grateful for the gifts you have given and filled with your love given through gifts, give often and generously to others! AMEN.
Express Love…God’s Way: Quality Time
Devotions this week based on the Message: “Counterfeit Gods: The Heartbreak of Love”
(NOTE: This sermon series and devotional series is based on a book by Tim Keller entitled, Counterfeit Gods.
You may choose to download or purchase the book as a supplement to your worship and devotional emails.)
“It’s not quantity; It’s quality.”
I haven’t seen a ton of research to prove or disprove this statement. However, it seems to come from those who are very busy in life and seek to bring “quality” to the few moments they have with someone to alleviate the guilt of not spending a “quantity” of time together. I also remember reading that the quantity of time we spend with our children, our spouse and those we love IS important.
It’s quantity AND quality.
Especially for someone who has the love language of quality time. It is about sharing a moment, sharing a conversation, undistracted by cell phones. It’s about focusing on the person, not the many things you could be doing. It’s about slowing down to notice the person, spend time together, and enjoy an experience together.
In our busy world, we can easily (or let me speak for myself) focus on the “agenda” or the “things that need to get done.” To sit still can feel like a waste of time or unproductive time. To stay focused on a conversation is hard when you are thinking of the many other things you need to get done. As a result the moments we have together are still distracted and disengaged.
To spend quality time with someone is to set aside any other agenda but to be with that person, take an interest in them, listen to what they have to say, take in the moment and enjoy nothing else but being with them. For someone with the love language of quality time, this speaks volumes.
As we journey through the love languages, it is interesting to see ways God expresses his love in these ways. Consider the quality time God spent/spends with us…
At the beginning he designed time to spend with Adam and Eve. He has always desired to spend time with us. (Note: we haven’t always wanted to spend time with him!)
Genesis 3:8 Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden.
One of his names indicates his desire to be with us.
Matthew 1:23 “The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel” (which means “God with us”).
Jesus promised that he would be with us always:
Matthew 28:20 And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
Struggling to love with quality time? Perhaps it’s going back and spending time with Jesus. Remember Mary and Martha? Martha was busy, and upset her sister Mary wasn’t helping host their guests. Jesus gently reminded Martha, spending quality time with him was more important.
Luke 10:41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
When I spend quality time with Jesus he reminds me of the quality and quantity of time he gives to me. He listens to my prayers. He gave up time to spend on earth to live, die and rise again for me. He desires to spend every day residing in my heart and eternity dwelling with me in heaven.
He certainly has many things and people he could focus on, yet he chooses to focus on me. As he has loved and continues to love me this way, I can love and continue to love the people in my life by giving them both quantity AND quality time!
Apply: Here’s some ideas to spend quality time together: https://www.ftd.com/blog/celebrate/love-language-ideas
- Try out a new restaurant or cook together
- Go on a walk together after dinner
- Plan a romantic picnic—without phones
- Buy tickets for a movie or play they’ve been wanting to see
- Schedule a weekly date night
- Play board games or video games with them
- Take them on a lunch date without any other siblings
- Bake cookies or something else sweet together
- Play catch in the yard together
- Take a road trip or overnight trip together
Prayer: Jesus thank you for always being with me. The quality time you spent for me and with me fill me with your love and encourage me to spend quality time with those you put in my life. AMEN
Express Love…God’s Way: Acts of Service
Devotions this week based on the Message: “Counterfeit Gods: The Heartbreak of Love”
(NOTE: This sermon series and devotional series is based on a book by Tim Keller entitled, Counterfeit Gods.
You may choose to download or purchase the book as a supplement to your worship and devotional emails.)
Human love and relationships can never replace God’s love and relationship!
Relationships are a blessing from the Lord. A spouse, a close friend, a parent or sibling are all unique gifts to join us in our journey through this life. This week’s message in no way is intended to discount the human relationships in our life, but rather celebrate them as a gift from God and not make them replace what only a relationship with God can provide. Human relationships are a blessing, but as we all have experienced at some point they let us down. What do we do when human relationships let us down? We go back to our heavenly Father to be filled with his love and then take that love back into our relationships.
In that light, this week’s devotions, I’d like to encourage us to “step up” our love game with the people that God has given to us. As God’s love fill us, we have the opportunity to fill others with the same love. To give some practical encouragement, I’d like to focus on the “Five Love Languages” as outlined by Gary Chapman in his book by the same name. He identifies the following five love languages as ones commonly expressed and received by individuals: Acts of Service, Quality Time, Gifts, Physical Touch and Words of Affirmation. Each of us has a primary and secondary. If you want to find yours, here’s a free assessment: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language
Acts of Service:
Jesus said, “Whoever wants to be great, must be last and a servant of all” (Mark 9:35).
Jesus’ whole life was an act of service to the world, to you and to me. He gave up his status to serve.
5 In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: 6 Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; 7 rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. (Philippians 2:5-7)
He changed the paradigm of greatness from “serve me” to “serve others.”
43 Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, 44 and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. 45 For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Mark 10:45)
He gave an example of a servant by washing his disciples’ feet. It was one of the ways he served others.
14 Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. 15 I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. 16 Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. 17 Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them. (John 13:14-17)
When we see Jesus serve us, it fills our love tank so we can serve others. But how? What exactly is service? Perhaps it is not just “doing the chores” but when you specifically give up time to do something I know my spouse would appreciate or wouldn’t do for herself. Service is sacrifice. While it can just be “doing things around the house” it is doing things that normally your spouse would have to do and taking that burden of time and effort off of them. It’s giving up yourself and what you think others should do for YOU and be willing to invest your time in THEM.
The Apostle Paul encourages us, “13 You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh[a]; rather, serve one another humbly in love” (Galatians 5:13).
The people God has put in our lives are ones that he gives us the opportunity to serve. Give up your self-centered self and enjoy giving up your time, energy and effort to serve those around you!
Apply: Need some ideas of service? Here’s the first ten from a blog post: https://www.lovelyluckylife.com/acts-of-service-love-language-ideas/
- Pay a bill before your spouse gets to it.
- Make breakfast in the morning.
- Have their clothes washed, folded and put away.
- Make their favorite treat.
- Iron their favorite work clothes so it’s done and ready when they go to wear it.
- Help with yard work or one of ‘his’ chores.
- Pack their lunch for the day.
- Make their cup of coffee in the morning.
- Wash their car.
- Take on chores that they hate. Scheduling appointments, etc.
Prayer: Lord, thank you for coming to this earth to serve all of us. Fill me with a heart of love and service so I can serve all, especially those whose love language is acts of service. Amen