Kindness…Why is it so hard?
Devotions this week based on the Message: “BELIEVE: Week 27: KINDNESS”
(NOTE: This sermon series and devotional series is based on a book by Randy Frazee entitled, “BELIEVE.”
You may choose to download or purchase the book as a supplement to your worship and devotional emails.)
“Be nice.”
“Was that kind?”
“What would be the nice thing to do?”
These phrases echo in my mind from childhood and beyond. Which means one thing…I wasn’t always kind.
Kindness is “responding to others from a deep, moral inner conviction of what is the right thing to do for the sake of the other person.” (Randy Fraaze, Believe)
Kindness is tough because it means thinking of what is best for the other person…and we don’t do that naturally.
The Apostle Paul was inspired to write: 1 Thessalonians 5:15 “Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.”
The fact that the Spirit of God had to record for us, “Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong” means that happens…all too often!
Why do we believe that repaying wrong for wrong will help? Perhaps it’s one of these reasons:
- I will solve the problem by striking back.
When someone cuts me off in traffic, I just zoom ahead of him and cut him off. There, I’m back in front. Really my striking back really doesn’t solve anything. It more than likely makes it worse…just for a split second I feel like the wrong is righted.
- I will settle the score by getting even.
This is probably the biggest reason we feel that repaying wrong for wrong is right. When we are wronged it creates an injustice. Often the wrong is not something that was “deserved” or “provoked” but someone just felt OK hurting me or someone else. So, our response? Make them feel worse or suffer worse than they did to me. Our inner sense for “justice” wants to take justice in our own hands and we become the arbiter of what is fair in response…usually it’s just adding sin to sin.
- I will stand up for myself
Repaying wrong for wrong seems like the manly thing to do. We don’t want to be the “softie” or get pushed around so we stand up for ourselves and fight back. (I’m not saying their might be legitimate times of self-defense that are necessary.)
All these really are lies of the devil to trigger our sinful nature into action and convince it that repaying wrong for wrong is the right thing to do.
It isn’t.
It just makes it worse and I’m sure we all have stories of “getting caught” as the person responding to a wrong someone else first inflicted.
So when we are wronged, what is the response?
Jesus taught, (Luke 6:27-31) “ 27 “But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29 If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. 30 Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. 31 Do to others as you would have them do to you.
Admittedly it is hard to repay wrong with kindness. It just isn’t natural…but it’s God’s way. Tomorrow we’ll find the reason why we don’t have to repay wrong for wrong, but repay wrong with kindness.
Apply: What leads you to want to repay wrong for wrong?
Prayer: Dear Lord Jesus, thank you for repaying wrong with kindness in our place. All too often we lash out and simply repay wrong for wrong. Forgive us and empower us by your forgiveness and example of one who was always kind, acting in the best interest of the other person. AMEN.
Patience…what does it look like?
Devotions this week based on the Message: “BELIEVE: Week 26: PATIENCE”
(NOTE: This sermon series and devotional series is based on a book by Randy Frazee entitled, “BELIEVE.”
You may choose to download or purchase the book as a supplement to your worship and devotional emails.)
Patience is a fruit of the Spirit and expression of God’s love. Like every gift of God we want to enjoy the gift ourselves, but also put that gift to work. So what does patience look like as God’s Spirit works in us. Here are five ways:
- Patience is evidence of wisdom instead of exhibition of folly.
Proverbs 14:29 A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly.
How many times have we found ourselves the fool as we reacted without all the information, did something stupid in an emotional reaction that affected our life for a long period of time. Patience allows one to pause before emotionally reacting. Patience gives time to gain perspective than react to a situation. Patience enables us to assess before acting.
- Patience is the willingness to wait when our impulse is to act.
Proverbs 16:32 32 Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.
James 1:19-21 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. 21 Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.
It is so easy to want to emotionally react or to deal with a situation swiftly. Patience is the answer when we are tempted to lash out in anger.
- Patience is allowing God’s plan to prevail when our plan seems better.
Romans 8:22 We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23 Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
Like we shared yesterday, God’s perspective is eternal. We want things to happen now, but God’s plan is at work. Patience is an exhibition of trust that God’s timing is always best and his plan is always for our eternal benefit.
- Patience is an exhibition of love. (1 Corinthians 13:4 “Love is patient”)
Ephesians 4:2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.
Patience is “bearing” with one another. It is not easy. We experience the hurt. We experience feelings of injustice. Patience allows time for God to work spiritual growth in others and in us. Patience allows us to show love instead of anger or frustration.
- Patience enables me to be part of the solution, rather than part of the problem.
1 Thessalonians 5:14 And we urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone. 15 Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.
Impatience can come from feeling the victim. I believe this comment by a Rabbi Jacob Staub commenting on the Hebrew word for patience and a situation where an individual had wronged him:
Reflecting back on the experience, I learn that by bearing the pain caused by another without swinging back, I can also be empowered. As long as I feel like an injured victim, I will either express my anger or to suppress it. But if I’m able to see myself as an agent who can change a situation, I have another choice—to act out of care and love, reaching out to reconnect and heal.
We all have opportunity to grow in patience. I pray God continues to give us situations to grow in and exhibit patience, and the Spirit given gift of patience to meet those opportunities!
Apply: Which of these five present the greatest opportunity for growth in your life?
Prayer: Lord, thank you for your incredible patience to show forgiveness for my many exhibitions of impatience. Grant me an extra measure of your Spirit to grow the gift of patience in my heart and life. AMEN.
Patience…starts with the Lord (Part 2)
Devotions this week based on the Message: “BELIEVE: Week 26: PATIENCE”
(NOTE: This sermon series and devotional series is based on a book by Randy Frazee entitled, “BELIEVE.”
You may choose to download or purchase the book as a supplement to your worship and devotional emails.)
Why is God so patient?
Perspective.
We “lose patience” because in the immediate moment, whatever the interruption into our plan causes frustration and even anger.
Traffic “causes” us to be late.
An illness lays us out for a week, year, or more.
Death of a loved one changes our plans.
An injury cuts short a lifelong dream.
And we ask “Why, Lord?”
Remember, patience is “the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.” But sometimes we are really stretched. Because we don’t want to be long-suffering, we don’t want the suffering to last long.
And so we struggle.
Buy why can God be patient?
God is patient because he holds the long perspective.
Remember the verse from yesterday: 2 Peter 3:8-9 But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. 9 The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.
Comments from the Theological Dictionary of the New Testament on the Greek word meaning “patience”: God’s patience does not overlook anything. It simply sees further than man. It has the end in view. It has the true insight which knows best. It is not swayed by human emotions.
God’s goal is for us to spend an eternity with him in heaven.
So everything that happens in life is intended to draw us closer to him, strengthen our faith, and ensure we end up in heaven.
But we have to see things from God’s perspective…at least as best we can.
Here’s some promises that help:
Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
Isaiah 55: 8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. 9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
1 Peter 1:3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, 5 who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 6 In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7 These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8 Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9 for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
With the promises in mind and God’s perspective in heart, draw on HIS patience to be patient, long-suffering, in all circumstances.
Apply: What challenges you to keep the long-perspective, God’s perspective, when you are being challenged to be patient?
Prayer: Lord, thank you for always holding the eternal perspective on my life. Help me to trust your plan and perspective are always best as I navigate situations that challenge my patience. AMEN.
Patience…starts with the Lord (Part 1)
Devotions this week based on the Message: “BELIEVE: Week 26: PATIENCE”
(NOTE: This sermon series and devotional series is based on a book by Randy Frazee entitled, “BELIEVE.”
You may choose to download or purchase the book as a supplement to your worship and devotional emails.)
Why is God so patient?
Or, maybe we phrase this…”God, why are you so slow?”
We see evil…we want God to take care of it NOW!
We suffer illness…we want God to end it NOW!
We experience hardship…we want God to change it NOW!
God, why are you so slow?
We often perceive God is not working on our time frame. We see an immediate need and desire an immediate response. We are not the first. People throughout the ages whose stories are recorded in Scripture wondered the same thing.
Here’s just a few examples: Moses wondering, “How long?”
Numbers 14:11 The Lord said to Moses, “How long will these people treat me with contempt? How long will they refuse to believe in me, in spite of all the miraculous signs I have performed among them?
King David in a time of challenge and suffering:
Psalm 6:3 My soul is in anguish. How long, O Lord, how long?
The prophet Jeremiah lamenting the disaster of Israel:
Jeremiah 4:20-21 Disaster follows disaster; the whole land lies in ruins. In an instant my tents are destroyed, my shelter in a moment. 21 How long must I see the battle standard and hear the sound of the trumpet?
We think God is slow…But God is being patient…but why?
2 Peter 3:8-9 But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. 9 The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.
God is patient because he doesn’t want anyone to perish.
God’s story is a story of patience. As soon as anyone sins, God has a right in his justice to strike us dead and send us to hell, immediately. Yet he doesn’t. Why?
In reading explanation for the word μακροθυμεῖν in the Theological Dictionary of the New Testament, I found these interesting aspects of patience that deepened my appreciation for God’s patience for me, for us.
In biblical usage, μακροθυμεῖν does not imply renunciation of the grounds for wrath. What it does mean is that alongside this wrath there is a divine restraint which postpones its operation until something takes place in man which justifies the postponement. If this new attitude does not eventuate, then wrath is fully visited
Patience is the tension between wrath and mercy. God restrains one’s wrath when he rightly has the ability to show it. He allows his grace and loving-kindness to rule. God was willing to wait with punishing sin until he laid all sin of all people on his Son Jesus. This connection to the payment of Jesus changes a person’s standing with God. As a result? They come to repentance and don’t perish.
God’s heart gives people a time on this earth to come to know Jesus. We may think God is slow, but in reality he is showing mercy by being patient.
Just like he did for you and me.
Apply: When have you seen the patience of God allow for the repentance and faith of another (your faith story may be that answer!)
Prayer: Lord, thank you for your patience. While I don’t always understand it, I understand your heart is to give people time to repent and turn to you for forgiveness and eternal life. AMEN.
Patience…Why is it so hard?
Devotions this week based on the Message: “BELIEVE: Week 26: PATIENCE”
(NOTE: This sermon series and devotional series is based on a book by Randy Frazee entitled, “BELIEVE.”
You may choose to download or purchase the book as a supplement to your worship and devotional emails.)
Why is patience so hard?
I don’t know a person who struggles with patience. Even people we know who are “the most patient people on earth” or “have the patience of Job” struggle with patience. They may be better at it or maybe just have had more opportunities to practice patience.
So why is patience so hard? What follow are five reasons. They are not excuses for impatience. They are not trying to make impatience right or sugar coat it…just lay out why patience can be such a struggle for us…especially in America.
- No need to be. Inventions give us things quickly. Want an example? I typed “impatience” into google and I got 104 million results in .46 seconds. Why should I spend time in a library looking up books? Scrolling through microfilm on the topic or even cracking a concordance to find passages that talk about patience or impatience when I can get 104 million pieces of information in less than half a second? Our society prides itself in giving us things faster (think…same day delivery from Amazon, microwaves, drive through restaurants). Innovation comes online every day that make things easier and faster. We are working as a society to remove the need for patience!
- No margin – When our days are so full with work, school, taxi service, tasks, and more we don’t have time to wait. I can’t spare a minute to wait for food. I can’t wait for a person in line in front of me. I can’t wait in traffic. Really everyone should know my agenda and schedule is what is most important today…and move out of my way!
- No results – I diet for a day and the scale is a pound heavier than the day before. I tried to quit smoking for an hour, but had to have smoke because of the stress of not smoking. I’ve studied more than my classmates, but not getting the grade. I’ve worked harder than others, but don’t have the success they do. Our instant gratification society tells us we don’t have to put in the consistent long work to achieve a result…we should have it NOW!
- No response – This is more spiritual in nature. Remember how patience means “long suffering” Sometimes we just get tired of waiting on the Lord. Perhaps we’ve prayed about it for days, months, years…nothing changes. No response leads us to think God doesn’t care, isn’t going to answer or just doesn’t have time for me. Here’s a few examples from the Psalms that tell
Psalm 74:10 How long will the enemy mock you, O God?
Will the foe revile your name forever?
11 Why do you hold back your hand, your right hand?
Take it from the folds of your garment and destroy them!
Psalm 13:1 How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
- Finally, impatience comes because I have a sinful nature. My sinful nature is naturally selfish and desires the world to revolve around me at my timing – including God. So we quickly get angry and we don’t want to wait and we certainly don’t want to linger in suffering.
Lord forgive us.
The solution? You’ll have to wait…until tomorrow. But let me give you a hint, patience is a gift of the Spirit because it’s source is the Lord. The Lord’s patience is what will overcome our impatience!
Apply: Which of the five above triggers your impatience most?
Prayer: Lord we ask you to forgive us for our impatience and fill us with patience from your Spirit! AMEN.