Gentleness…Turns away wrath!
Devotions this week based on the Message: “BELIEVE: Week 29: GENTLENESS”
(NOTE: This sermon series and devotional series is based on a book by Randy Frazee entitled, “BELIEVE.”
You may choose to download or purchase the book as a supplement to your worship and devotional emails.)
Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
How many conflicts have you been involved in that escalated because the tone and volume of voices continued to increase?
I have been at the receiving end of some pretty direct and harsh criticism. I feel my heartrate increase. I feel my defenses come up. I am ready as soon as the other person is done talking to not only defend myself but to attack back.
This doesn’t go well.
Does it work for you?
I doubt it. Wrath returned with wrath just creates more wrath. In fact, if never resolved creates division, hurt, and sometimes lifetime rifts in relationships.
So in one short statement of wisdom, Solomon guides us in a different direction.
“A gentle answer turns away wrath.”
I have found that when people are upset at me a few things are true.
- They are upset – their emotions are valid.
- They are directing their frustration at me – which has some percentage of truth to it.
- They are wanting understanding and resolution – even if they aren’t articulating it well.
So here’s what I’ve learned that helps to return a harsh word with gentleness.
- Remember it’s not about you. (Even though it will feel that way.)
- Listen. Listen. (When you listen, really listen to understand, you will get an opportunity to clarify any misunderstood or false statements.)
- Validate the emotion. (I see this has really upset you.)
- Summarize the issue. (From what I am hearing, _______ is what is making you upset.)
- Apologize: (Find the 1% or more that is your fault and apologize. Let go of pride and needing to be right.)
- Restore: (Affirm the relationship. Seek the pathway forward to avoid the issue in the future.)
- Clarify: (May I explain my side? Clarify, if needed, what happened to seek understanding and restoration.
- Do all with gentleness. (Use the power of the Spirit to refrain from lashing out or spewing anger. Respond with a heart of love and words of gentleness. The strength of your response is not in the volume or in attack, but in the spirit of love and restoration that God drives in you and through you.
How is this working? Very well. The conflict is much shorter. Understanding is reached. The dialogue is productive and the relationship is strengthened.
I’ve learned “winning an argument” often is at the expense of damaging a relationship. Responding to wrath with anger simply creates more wrath and anger – not fruits of the Spirit, but fruits of the sinful nature.
So repent. You are covered with the blood of Jesus. With the Spirit’s help, next time there is a heated word directed at you, turn away wrath with a gentle answer.
Apply: Simply try returning a harsh word with a gentle word and see how the Lord blesses it.
Prayer: Lord forgive me for letting my anger add to someone else’s anger. Thank you for always speaking the truth in love to my soul, forgiving my sin, and empowering me with your Spirit to turn away wrath with a gentle answer. AMEN.
Gentleness…What if…?
Devotions this week based on the Message: “BELIEVE: Week 29: GENTLENESS”
(NOTE: This sermon series and devotional series is based on a book by Randy Frazee entitled, “BELIEVE.”
You may choose to download or purchase the book as a supplement to your worship and devotional emails.)
Titus 3:1-2 Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, 2 to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men.
What if we would all wake up with this reminder on our mirror?
What if our president and governing officials did?
What if the media before they wrote or went on air had this reminder in front of them?
What if the CEO of our company posted this so all could see each day?
What if our families embraced this as we went off to school, work, and the day’s activities?
What if I embraced this personally as I went through my day?
Can you already begin to sense stress release, tensions begin to calm, and the division at every turn begin to ease?
I can.
But that’s what happens when our sinful nature is put under the control of Christ and the power of the Spirit of God shows more often and evidently in my life and the lives of others. The Lord knows that my sinful nature and that of every person in society naturally drags us down a path to be disobedient, a tendency toward selfish evil, protecting my reputation over someone else’s, thinking myself better than another, and allowing my pride to run rampant.
I need the reminder. So do you.
At the heart of it is gentleness, or here translated, “considerate.” Gentleness responds with a respect and humility toward another person. Gentleness isn’t trying to “one-up” or “outdo” another person, but to come alongside them. Gentleness seeks to understand, give respect, and honor those God has put around us and over us. It’s just what God’s people do.
We treat people with consideration, with gentleness.
When we follow Jesus and walk in step with the Spirit of God, it is always the best way to believe and live. The Lord loves to bless as we follow his loving commands. In fact all his commands are not burdensome because all of his command are intended for our blessing!
James sees the blessing of understanding and living the wisdom of God. He says in 3:17: But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. 18 Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.
Once again a key characteristic of godly wisdom is consideration. It’s thinking of others before yourself. It is seeking peace over conflict, mercy over violence, purity over evil.
It’s just what we do when we live forgiven in Christ and guided by the wisdom of God.
Apply: Write Titus 3:1-2 on a card and put on your mirror. Let it remind you every day for a week. Note how your interactions and relationships change as a result.
Prayer: Forgive me Lord for times and days where I exhibit everything but your love and consideration. Empower and remind me by your Spirit “to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men.” AMEN.
Gentleness…Don’t break me!
Devotions this week based on the Message: “BELIEVE: Week 29: GENTLENESS”
(NOTE: This sermon series and devotional series is based on a book by Randy Frazee entitled, “BELIEVE.”
You may choose to download or purchase the book as a supplement to your worship and devotional emails.)
What do you do when the candles on your birthday cake are still smoking? Perhaps you blow harder, or you lick your fingers and snuff out the remaining spark.
What do you do when you are in the garden and you see a branch that is alive, but is broken and seems to be dying? Probably either break or cut it off.
Perhaps as a kid you tried to see if you could get the candle to come back to life, but I don’t know anyone who would take a broken branch and try to splice it back together or somehow preserve it’s life.
It’s easier to snuff it out or break it off.
Unless you are the Lord and the wick and the branch are you and me.
Isaiah 42:3-4 says, “A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out. In faithfulness he will bring forth justice; he will not falter or be discouraged till he establishes justice on earth. In his law the islands will put their hope.”
Matthew quoted these verses (12:15-21) as one of the prophesies Jesus fulfilled. How did he fulfill it?
15 Aware of this, Jesus withdrew from that place. Many followed him, and he healed all their sick, 16 warning them not to tell who he was. 17 This was to fulfill what was spoken through the prophet Isaiah:
18 “Here is my servant whom I have chosen,
the one I love, in whom I delight;
I will put my Spirit on him,
and he will proclaim justice to the nations.
19 He will not quarrel or cry out;
no one will hear his voice in the streets.
20 A bruised reed he will not break,
and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out,
till he leads justice to victory.
21 In his name the nations will put their hope.”
Jesus didn’t break people off or snuff them out, he healed them. As we looked at in yesterday’s devotion, he is gentle and humble at heart. His desire was to help people physically, but more importantly spiritually. When he saw someone ill, he healed them. Matthew indicates that people intentionally brought the sick out to see Jesus. Someone about to die? Jesus didn’t snuff them out…he healed them. Someone broken and couldn’t walk? Jesus healed them.
But most importantly he wanted to fan into flames, and strengthen bruised reeds spiritually. Matthew says of Isaiah’s words, “In his name the nations will put their hope.”
Jesus used his power to heal and restore, not break and crush. He uses his power to heal and restore us, spiritually.
King David said in Psalm 51:17 “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.”
God could crush our broken spirits heart, but he doesn’t. He chooses to be gentle and uses his power to forgive, restore and bring new life to our souls.
With the gentle love and forgiveness of the Lord, we always have a reason to have hope.
Apply: How has the Lord restored you when you felt like a smoldering wick or bruised reed?
Prayer: Lord, thank you for using your power to gently restore me, a smoldering wick and bruised reed. AMEN.
Gentleness…power under control.
Devotions this week based on the Message: “BELIEVE: Week 29: GENTLENESS”
(NOTE: This sermon series and devotional series is based on a book by Randy Frazee entitled, “BELIEVE.”
You may choose to download or purchase the book as a supplement to your worship and devotional emails.)
Gentleness is power under control.
The question becomes then, “If one has the power to react and chooses not to, why is that?”
There is no better place to go than to the Lord Jesus. As with all the characteristics we have been looking at, the Lord is the place to go to understand them in their perfection and how they are applied to us.
Jesus said in Matthew 11:28, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
This phrase is fascinating to reflect on (please share yours). We often focus on the first phrase, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” But yet he doesn’t just invite us to rest on a recliner in our living room, he invites us to take up a yoke and learn from him.
A yoke was put over the shoulders of work animals so they could pull together the load that was behind them. Reading about yoking oxen, the reality is that two oxen pulling together can pull up to two-times the load the two could individually. However, the pair must work together, even if one ox is stronger than the other. So oxen that are self-centered, unable to work with someone else do not make the cut to plow the field.
When Jesus invites us to “yoke” with him, he a) makes our burden lighter, but b) he reminds us who he is, “gentle and humble in heart.”
He is not going to use his power to over power or burden us more. He is not going to be self-centered and refuse to pull a step more. His gentleness is his willingness to walk in step with us. He didn’t have too. We’ve given him many reasons why we have no business being yoked with him. However, he has no arrogance or pride to uphold. He humbles himself and becomes a servant to us and with us to carry the loads of life, but more importantly the load of sin.
When you think of a family carrying their bags through the airport to catch a flight, the youngest child may say, “I can’t keep up, my backpack is too heavy.” Dad doesn’t then put his own back pack on the shoulders of his child, rather he takes the pack and holds his hand to lighten the burden and move forward to catch the flight.
Jesus acts as a gentle, loving father who carries his child’s burdens and walks with him through life. He controls the full use of his divine power to walk with us and give rest for our souls.
Apply: What burdens are you trying to carry, that Jesus invites and is willing to carry for us. What picture of gentleness describes Jesus’ relationship with you?
Prayer: Lord Jesus, thank you for being gentle and humble to walk with me and carry my burdens. AMEN.
Gentleness…Strength or weakness?
Devotions this week based on the Message: “BELIEVE: Week 29: GENTLENESS”
(NOTE: This sermon series and devotional series is based on a book by Randy Frazee entitled, “BELIEVE.”
You may choose to download or purchase the book as a supplement to your worship and devotional emails.)
How do you perceive the concept of gentleness?
Is it a concept of strength? Or a concept of weakness?
I would guess most would suggest that gentleness is more a concept of “weakness” than of strength. I thought this way. Someone who was gentle got pushed around. Someone who was gentle was soft. Someone who was gentle got run over.
Is this accurate about gentleness?
Is this what the Apostle Paul means when he writes under inspiration to the Philippians (4:5): “Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.”
Is the Spirit of God giving us a gift to be a soft, weak, pushover of a person?
While this may be one’s first impression, another look at gentleness is in order. It certainly opened my eyes.
Since gentleness is listed as one of the fruits of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22 it has to be a characteristic that is positive, God-honoring, and a blessing to a person and to others.
In preparing for this past week’s message I came across an article on Dr. James Dobson’s website. It offers a great perspective on what gentleness really is.
When my daughter was young, she used to love to squeeze my hand as hard as she could, trying to make it hurt. She could squeeze with all her might, but it never hurt. She didn’t need to be gentle because she lacked the power to cause me any pain. Then, just for fun, I’d give her hand a tight little squeeze until she yelped.
It’s the strong hand, not the weak one, that must learn to be gentle.
Gentleness is a strong hand with a soft touch. It is a tender, compassionate approach toward others’ weaknesses and limitations. A gentle person still speaks truth, sometimes even painful truth, but in doing so guards his tone so the truth can be well received. (https://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/the-strength-of-gentleness/)
Of all the fruits of the Spirit, gentleness may be the most misunderstood. We often equate gentleness (or “meekness”) with weakness when it’s exactly the opposite. Gentleness is power under control.
Think of it this way: Years ago, circuses and sideshows traveled with a strongman. People would come from miles around to watch the muscular man lift heavy weights over his head, break metal chains and bend bars of steel with his bare hands.
Circusgoers marveled at the mighty man’s strength. And yet, the very same man whose hands twisted iron rods could also pick a delicate flower or hold a tiny baby. The strongman knew how to control his mighty power.
Now that you have a picture of the strongman in mind, listen to the words of Psalm 86:15: “But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.” God is all-powerful — yet gentle. The very hands that stretched the heavens were themselves stretched and nailed to a cross. Jesus showed gentleness by washing his disciples’ and betrayer’s feet; the Master set aside His title and authority to take on the role of a servant. https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/marriage-meditation-the-fruit-of-the-spirit-is-gentleness/
Gentleness is not a concept of weakness. It is a concept of power…power under control. Gentleness is having the ability to act or react with power, but choosing not to.
Keep this definition in mind as we move through the week’s devotions…gentleness is a powerful concept which definitely is a gift of God’s Spirit and clearly a trait God desires to be evident to all.
Apply: What has been your concept of gentleness? What leads you to perceive it as a concept of weakness? Of strength?
Prayer: Lord, thank you for teaching me and showing me what gentleness looks like and most of all treating me with gentleness. AMEN.