Do you treat love like trash?
Devotions this week based on Sunday’s Message: The Difficulty of Love! (LISTEN HERE)
We live in a disposable society.
Over 2 billion tons of waste are generated worldwide on an annual basis. Statistically the more you earn, the more you throw away. Only 9% of plastic is effectively recycled.
It used to be cheaper to repair an appliance, now it’s cheaper at times to throw the one away and get a new one. Things that could be repaired are tossed for lack of time, desire or know how to fix it.
This devotion isn’t about the environment, but the reality is we throw a lot away because it’s use is limited and the ability or desire to reuse it is not great.
Is it the same true with love?
Do we treat love as a disposable commodity?
When we desire to get something from someone we express love, but when we’ve gotten what we want, we simply stop loving?
When love seems to be broken in our marriages or relationships, do we give up trying to fix what is broken or feel like we don’t know how or nothing will work so we dispose of the one person to try to find another one that works?
When we try to love and we don’t get the response we want, is it easy to simply dismiss love and let it go to the “landfill” not to be used again.
I think so.
We treat love like a disposable commodity because we see love from the wrong perspective.
Our sinful nature desires to use love for our personal gain. If we can get something by loving someone, great. If we can’t? Stop loving.
Our sinful nature loves to give up loving when it seems hard or difficult. Instead of learning different ways to love, we simply give up on love and let it go, hoping another try with someone else will work better.
How many relationships and opportunities sit in the “landfill of love” because we have treated love as a temporary and selfish commodity?
All too many.
Love is not a disposable commodity. Our use of love can be, but love is an eternal reality emanating from the heart of an eternal God that does not give up or stop loving, even when we dismiss or spurn his love.
If love is going to be a permanent reality rather than a short-lived experience, we must tap into the eternal, permanent reality of God’s love for us. Only with his love pouring into our souls will we be able to love, work to love, continue to love when we feel like giving up.
Love is not temporary. Love is permanent.
1 Corinthians 13:7-8 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
Psalm 118:1 Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.
Apply: How have you treated love as a disposable commodity? What changes when you view love through the lens of God’s permanent love?
Prayer: Lord Jesus, thank you for loving me with an everlasting love, not a temporary, disposable love. AMEN
Five tips on how to love when it’s difficult!
Devotions this week based on Sunday’s Message: The Difficulty of Love! (LISTEN HERE)
Good morning. My apologies for missing a post yesterday. I was focused on preparing for Ash Wednesday worship and forgot to post a devotion for Thursday morning. As a trade, here is the link to the Ash Wednesday worship. Enjoy listening to a message on Jonah 3 as the people of Nineveh heard the word of the Lord and repented and in response the Lord relented from the destruction he threatened. There are some wonderful parallels to Ash Wednesday and the season of Lent.
CLICK HERE for the Ash Wednesday video.
To wrap up the week, let’s just acknowledge that love is difficult especially when others are being difficult.
Even when we look to our Savior Jesus and marvel at his love for us, we have our sinful nature that is constantly encouraging us not to love those around us, especially those that have wronged us or hurt us.
So what is the answer?
When love is difficult I must look back to the love of Jesus and draw on how he has loved me.
When love is difficult I must look inside and realize the spiritual battle I am waging.
But here’s also a few things I have found help to love when it is difficult. Granted, not all of these will work in every situation, but perhaps you will find one or two helpful to help you love, even when it is difficult.
- Be curious. We naturally respond to what we see and hear. We respond through our perceptions, our experiences, and our templates. This means that sometimes we don’t interpret the actions of another person accurately. So instead of allowing a reaction that is unloving, suspend that reaction and instead ask a question to better understand the other person. This does not negate that what happened potentially was wrong and hurtful. Often times “hurt people, hurt people.” Actions against someone often come from a place of hurt. (I am not a professional, but here’s some that have worked…please share your questions that help diffuse a situation.)
- What you did came across as very hurtful, help me understand what is going on for you since you don’t usually respond that way?
- You seem really worked up, frustrated, angry. Is there something I can help with? Do you want to talk about it?
- Be first. This is very hard. But someone has to break the pattern of lack of love, by loving. Especially in a marriage where you have pledged to spend life together, be the first to back down. Be the first to apologize (whether it is 99% your fault or 1% your fault). Be the first to lower the tone. Realize that your spouse is a loved child of God and you get to be the love of Jesus to him or her.
- Be cautious. Loving others doesn’t mean to put yourself, unnecessarily, in harm’s way. It is not always easy to discern what the loving thing to do is. When your default is to love, pray for discernment as to how to love in a way that truly will be a blessing to the other person, not just enabling a behavior or addiction that is harmful.
- Put the best construction on things. Especially in the family of believers, trust that a brother or sister, while they may have a different perspective and they may not have acted in a very loving way, has the love of Jesus and his kingdom in mind. It’s not always easy, but see the best first rather than defaulting to the worst.
- Decide to love. Before a situation occurs, make it, with God’s help, your default to love the people around you. The temptation is to hate or hurt back, ask God to always default to love back.
I’m sure there are more. The more you ponder how Jesus has loved you, the more ways we find to love the difficult. Always default to Jesus’ love!
Ephesians 5:1 Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children 2 and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
Apply: What ways have you found to love even when it is difficult?
Prayer: Lord Jesus, thank you for loving me. Help me to love others, even when I find it difficult. AMEN.
Jesus loves the difficult! (Ash Wednesday)
Devotions this week based on Sunday’s Message: The Difficulty of Love! (LISTEN HERE)
Today in the Christian Church Year is Ash Wednesday. Ash Wednesday is the traditional beginning to the 40 day journey in the season of Lent. It is a season of repentance and reflection. We recognize how undeserving we are of the love of Jesus, yet how he was willing to suffer, die and rise again for us.
Ashes are part of the day to remind us of our mortality. We came from dust and to dust we will return. Marked with the sign of the cross, an ashen mark on the forehead often tangibly puts before us “the wages of sin is death” as well as “the gift of God is eternal life in Jesus Christ.”
On this Ash Wednesday, I put before us the hymn that captures the deep need we have for Jesus’ love and his willingness to love the difficult. Read the verses slowly and then enjoy listening to a rendition of the hymn by KoineMusic.com.
1 Chief of sinners though I be,
Jesus shed his blood for me,
died that I might live on high,
lives that I might never die.
As the branch is to the vine,
I am his and he is mine!
2 Oh, the height of Jesus’ love,
higher than the heav’ns above,
deeper than the depths of sea,
lasting as eternity,
love that found me— wondrous thought—
found me when I sought him not.
3 Only Jesus can impart
comfort to a wounded heart,
peace that flows from sin forgiv’n,
joy that lifts the soul to heav’n,
faith and hope to walk with God
in the way that Enoch trod.
4 Chief of sinners though I be,
Christ is all in all to me;
all my wants to him are known,
all my sorrows are his own.
Safe with him in earthly strife,
I await the heav’nly life.
5 Strengthen me, O gracious Lord,
by your Spirit and your Word.
When my wayward heart would stray,
keep me in the narrow way;
grace in time of need supply
while I live and when I die.
CLICK HERE to listen to the hymn.
Apply: What part of the hymn stood out most to you? What truth does it speak to your heart?
Prayer: Lord, on this Ash Wendesday and beginning of the season of Lent, guide our hearts to recognize our sin and deep need for a Savior. Lead us not to despair, but to find joy in knowing that you loved the difficult, the chief of sinners…you loved me. AMEN.
Does love depend on the person?
Devotions this week based on Sunday’s Message: The Difficulty of Love! (LISTEN HERE)
“It depends on the person.”
When we say this phrase we are identifying that some people in our lives are easier to love than others. It depends on the person. If the person is loving back, easy to love. If they don’t, it’s difficult to love, or we just stop trying to love.
It does depend on the person, but what person? Does the person we are trying to love determine whether it is easy or hard to love?
Yesterday we were encouraged to look at YOU. Often the condition of OUR heart is what makes it easy or hard to love.
Another person we want to look to is Jesus. How did he love the difficult people? If it is true that “we love because he first loved us” (and it is), then we must look at the right person and learn from him…our Savior Jesus.
If we are to love as we have been loved, we must turn to the right person and see how he not only loved other difficult people, how he loved me.
First, he loved others more than himself.
Sure he was the Son of God, but was tempted in every way as we are, yet did not sin. So, like us, he was tempted to love himself more than others. He could have stayed in heaven instead of coming to this earth, yet he didn’t because he loved the world more than himself.
When he was in the Garden and prayed for the cup of suffering to be taken from him, he could have walked away and deserted his Father’s plan. Yet he loved people more than himself and for the joy set before him was willing to endure the cross.
He simply focused on loving others more than himself…including you.
Second, Jesus loved those that didn’t love him.
If I would project my emotions on Jesus, this had to be hard. I can love others when they love me back, but when others don’t love me, it is so easy to be mean back at worst or simply walk away from the relationship at best. But Jesus leaned in and loved those who didn’t love him back. Want some examples?
The whole people of Israel who didn’t receive him? His heart ached for them:
Matthew 23:37 “Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing.
The soldiers who nailed him to the cross. He didn’t curse. He forgave:
Luke 23:34 Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”
Third, Jesus loved those that were not perfect like him.
There was no one “beneath” Jesus’ love. We may have our stereotypes or “groups” of people we struggle to love because of challenges with the behavior or beliefs of that group of people. Jesus reaches across those cultural and personal barriers to love people perhaps others wouldn’t. A woman caught in adultery, he forgives and encourages a change in life style.
John 8:11 “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”
Tax collectors who still are despised today, Jesus sat down and shared a meal with them: Matthew 9:11-12 When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?” On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.”
Jesus loved the difficult because he chose to focus on loving them regardless of the person. Love originated in his heart and it exhibited itself to all…regardless of the person.
It’s a good thing because that’s the reason we have experienced Jesus’ love too!
Apply: What aspect of Jesus’ love impacts you the most?
Prayer: Lord Jesus, thank you for loving me, the difficult one. Empower me with that love to love everyone around me, even the ones that are difficult to love. AMEN.
Why is love so difficult?
Devotions this week based on Sunday’s Message: The Difficulty of Love! (LISTEN HERE)
Do you find love difficult?
Receiving love is a piece of cake. When some gives a gift, does something nice for you, expresses appreciation, etc. that is enjoyable and fills our “love tank.”
But why is expressing love not always easy…and in fact at times very difficult?
Perhaps some of your answers might include:
I don’t have time right now.
They were mean to me in the past and I don’t feel like loving them.
They need to apologize first before I show any love to them.
They won’t appreciate or repay me if I love them.
What else would you add?
I can come up with a lot of reasons to not love and why I don’t need to love, but here’s the reality… I AM the one that makes love difficult.
Sure, I certainly acknowledge that some people are more challenging to love than others, but is that an excuse not to love? NO.
So how do I make it so difficult?
I’m battling with my sinful nature that only wants to love me and do what’s best for me. My sinful nature is my selfish nature. It loves me more than anyone else and wants me to keep my focus on loving me. Loving others is an interruption to loving me.
Instead of loving others, the Apostle Paul puts forward what comes out of this sinful nature of mine…
Galatians 5:19 The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like.
Instead of loving, my sinful nature would rather hate the person that wronged me. Instead of working toward peace, my sinful nature wants me to hold a grudge and allow discord to continue. Instead of rejoicing in the success of others and celebrating them, my sinful nature would rather be jealous and connive ways to bring down the success of others. Instead of taking time to understand another person, my sinful nature would rather have a fit of rage and seek to gain for myself through threats and anger. Instead of coming along side another person and helping them succeed, my sinful nature loves to carry a selfish ambition that uses people along the way for personal gain. Instead of…my sinful nature loves to feed itself. The list is long and the problem is strong.
I AM what makes love difficult because MY sinful nature loves to love self more than others.
In order to love, I must daily drown, fight off, suppress my sinful nature.
How? Perhaps Martin Luther’s explanation to the blessing of baptism helps. It’s a reminder to make daily use of the blessing of our baptism: (From Luther’s Small Catechism)
- What is the meaning of such a water Baptism?
- It means that the old Adam in us should be drowned by daily sorrow and repentance, and die with all sins and evil lusts, and, in turn, a new person daily come forth and rise from death again. He will live forever before God in righteousness and purity.
- Where is this written?
- St. Paul says to the Romans in Chapter Six (Romans 6:4):
- “We are buried with Christ through Baptism into death, so that, in the same way Christ is risen from the dead by the glory of the Father, thus also must we walk in a new life.”
So today is going to be no different than other days. Your sinful nature is going to want you to only love yourself. With the power of God’s Spirit working through your baptism, drown that unloving, self-centered sinful nature in the tomb of Jesus and let the new man full of God’s love and grace live boldly and brightly today!
Apply: Think of a situation in which you find it hard to love. What aspect of your sinful nature is getting in the way and making it difficult?
Prayer: Lord, forgive me for being so self-centered and living life focused on loving self. Empower me through your Spirit and the blessing of my baptism to daily drown my sinful nature and let the new man you gave me rise and shine and show your love. AMEN.