Is grace your frequency bias?
Today’s devotion builds on the thoughts from Sunday’s Sermon – Week 3 of “Compelled – Living the Value of Visible Grace” (LISTEN HERE).
When in doubt, apply forgiveness.
Ephesians 4:32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
There is a phenomenon we have all probably experienced. When you buy a red car, you perceive that now everyone is driving a red car (when the number of red cars hasn’t actually increased, you just notice them). If you are diagnosed with diabetes, suddenly you begin to meet many more people with diabetes. This phenomenon called “frequency illusion” was coined in 2005 by Arnold Zwicky, a professor of linguistics at Stanford University and Ohio State University. Arnold Zwicky considered this illusion a process involving two cognitive biases: selective attention bias (noticing things that are important to us and disregarding the rest) followed by confirmation bias (looking for things that support our hypotheses while disregarding potential counter-evidence). (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frequency_illusion)
Can “frequency illusion” happen in the church? In a negative way?
Frequency illusion happens when we “notice things that are important to us and disregard the rest.” Then we “look for things that support our hypotheses and disregard potential counter-evidence.”
Do you find it easy to practice “frequency illusion” with sin or offense…in other people?
You see it ALL the time, right?
Someone gives feedback on what you do. You feel it is overly critical. Now every comment that person shares you label as “critical.” You even ask other people and share what happened and they are prone to quip, “Yeah, that person is being overly critical.” Confirmed! That person is a critical person and you don’t have to be around them any more…relationship over.
Someone doesn’t say “Hi” on a Sunday morning. They walk right past you. It happens a second week. “How rude.” You ask someone else, “Yep, that person is being rude.” Confirmed! That person is rude and even if they say “Hi” the next week, the perception is engrained. Done. Not going to hang out with rude people.
Someone is in charge of an event. They give you feedback on your effort that brings your work in line with the vision and objective of the event. You feel they were micromanaging. It happens again. You ask someone else. Yep, that person is a micromanager. Done. Forget it. Not working with that person.
Do you see what happens when we CHOOSE to focus on the negative and readily find the faults in someone else? You WILL see it all over! Why? Because YOU are choosing to focus on it and YOU are seeking things to confirm your bias.
This will destroy the culture of a church.
Let me offer a different “frequency bias” to focus on, that doesn’t have to just be an illusion, but a permeating reality in our relationships and churches.
Apply grace. Apply forgiveness.
Everyone has faults. EVERYONE! You can choose to fixate on those or you can forgive where forgiveness is needed and focus on a person’s strengths over their weaknesses.
Be kind. Kindness offers to help, rather than tear down. Kindness does good instead of perpetuating hurt.
Be compassionate. You don’t know the other person’s story. Maybe their mind was very distracted and they just had a big thing happen before church. They weren’t dissing you. They needed you! Maybe they weren’t micromanaging the project, but just juggling all the components to make sure the outcome was the excellence everyone wanted. Learn from them, don’t run from them.
Forgive. We’ve established there is no one in the church that does not sin. We all do. So, we will all need forgiveness from each other. As you have been freely given forgiveness, apply it to others. Lovingly work through the conflict and hurt, but always have the goal to restore and strengthen relationships rather than let Satan tear them apart.
Bottom line…show them grace.
Let grace be the “frequency bias” we carry that leads us to be kind, compassionate, AND forgiving.
Apply: What situations would kindness, compassion, or forgiveness help to navigate in your life today?
Prayer: Father, as you have applied forgiveness to me, help me to show the same grace and freely forgive others around me. AMEN.
How many relationships in your life could have been saved by grace?
Today’s devotion builds on the thoughts from Sunday’s Sermon – Week 3 of “Compelled – Living the Value of Visible Grace” (LISTEN HERE).
How many relationships in your life could have been saved by grace?
I’m not talking about relationships of individuals with their Savior, Jesus, but individuals that you no longer have a relationship with because grace was absent?
Let me take it one step further. How many relationships with people in church have been severed or never established because of the lack of grace?
Have you ever had a visitor come into your church who wasn’t a “seasoned church goer” who never came back? Maybe you don’t know. I have. It doesn’t take long for a guest to walk in and feel the glare of judgment or the eyes of compassion. It doesn’t take long for an individual to feel the warmth of a group or the chill that says, “I don’t belong here.”
There may be many factors, but underneath is grace or the absence of grace. Do we believe every person in the church and who walks through the doors of our church needs grace? Yes. “All have sinned.” That includes you and me.
Do we believe that everyone who walks through the door will hear about grace? As a pastor, I hope so!
Do we believe that everyone who walks through the door will experience and feel grace? I want them to. I pray you do too. However, if we are honest, “showing grace” can sometimes be lacking.
In fact, just think about yourself for a minute. If someone asks, “How are you doing?” Will you simply reply “fine” and move on? Or is there someone that you would feel comfortable opening up and saying, “I’m really struggling in my marriage”? Or, “I just found out my adult son is gay.” Or…you fill in the blank. What I notice, is that there is a subtle fear in church of really opening up about the sin that is affecting our life because we feel like we would be judged or made to feel “less than” because we had sinned or are dealing with sin.
A common concern of those outside the church is the judgment of those inside the church. I had a young lady say, “I don’t think I’m good enough to come to your church.” To which I replied, “If you only knew the stories and sins of everyone sitting in the pew.” (For the record, I didn’t not relate all I knew!) But this interaction has affected me to want every person who walks into the church to not just hear about grace BUT ALSO experience grace…not matter what their spiritual journey has been or not been.
So how do we do that better? Perhaps the opening words of Paul’s letter to Titus and many of his other letters gives us a hint because it is not just a formula to open a letter, it is the reality of his heart and how he views people.
Titus 1:4 To Titus, my true son in our common faith: Grace and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Savior.
I get that not everyone who walks through the door is maybe not yet a “true son in our common faith”…but prayerfully that will come. But we can view all people who walk through the door, and all those that have been there a long time, as individuals to whom God wants to bring his grace and peace.
For those who are true sons and daughters in the common faith, can we not first see them as saints of God, one’s who “share in God’s grace” with us? Even saints still struggle with sin. The Apostle Paul did.
Romans 7:17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
So here’s what grace does for relationships. It removes judgment and condemnation and instills love and forgiveness (more on that tomorrow). It is not surprised when people need grace, because everyone does, but rather is ready to communicate and show grace to forgive and overcome sin. Grace restores and strengthens relationships because it removes conditions to remain in that relationship. It shows favor, even if the other person does not deserve it. When we see each other through the lens of grace, we realize grace must be at the heart of our relationships.
If it’s not, and we are always waiting for perfect people to be with, we will be lonely people.
Grace and peace to you, my friend.
Apply: Think of a relationship in your life that is strained. What guidance does God give you as you ask how to see the relationship through grace and apply grace in the relationship?
Prayer: Lord, help me see everyone as you do…one’s in need of grace (just like me), and one’s with whom you desire me to show grace. AMEN.
What is grace?
Today’s devotion builds on the thoughts from Sunday’s Sermon – Week 3 of “Compelled – Living the Value of Visible Grace” (LISTEN HERE).
Grace is a word that we use often in our Christian faith.
Grace is a hard word to fully define or grasp.
Grace is spoken of as “undeserved love.” The letters of GRACE have been used to say, “God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense.” I am not going to quarrel with these helpful phrases.
However, grace seems more than that – especially the grace that God shows to us. The term grace has a root that means “joy or rejoicing.” Sometimes the word “gift” is also used for this term. At the heart is the heart of God that leads to the action of God on behalf of the people of God.
Perhaps a definition of grace is this, “A gift of God’s divine favor.” The result of this gift? Certainly a reason for rejoicing.
So what happens when God gives us the gift of his grace?
Romans 5:15 But the gift is not like the trespass. For if the many died by the trespass of the one man, how much more did God’s grace and the gift that came by the grace of the one man, Jesus Christ, overflow to the many! 16 Again, the gift of God is not like the result of the one man’s sin: The judgment followed one sin and brought condemnation, but the gift followed many trespasses and brought justification.
Romans 3:23 There is no difference, 23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24 and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.
Grace changes our status before God.
Justification changes our status from sinner to saint. What do I mean?
The “gift brought justification” or “we are justified freely by his grace.”
If you picture a courtroom setting with God the Father as the judge. We are the defendant and the prosecutor is the Accuser himself, Satan. With our lives marked out before the standard of perfection, the case seems clear cut that we as the defendant have “sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” In fact, if there were a jury present, the evidence is so clear and the defense so limited, that without much if any deliberation the jury would declare us “guilty.” The Judge wouldn’t need the consensus of the jury, but he too when examining the account of our life would readily find us guilty and meet out the proper punishment for anyone who is a sinner, “Depart from me.”
However, before the judgment is handed down, Jesus Christ steps before the Father as our intercessor and pleads our case. He asks that his perfect life be considered in place of our imperfect life. He asks that the punishment that our sins deserved would be laid on him and that he would sit in our place as a sinner and be treated as such so that we might be declared not guilty and be set free.
The Judge accepts the deal Jesus presents and declares Jesus guilty and declares us not guilty…a binding decision that secures our status as saints before God.
This decision by the Father is the gift of divine favor that gives us great joy. How do you think you would feel leaving a courtroom where the guilty verdict was inevitable and instead you were declared not guilty? You get to leave with confidence and full belief in your heart that you stand right before a holy, righteous God because of his grace shown to you through Jesus Christ.
This message for many of your readers is not new, but I want to have you focus on this gift of grace and how God in Christ treated you. It is the ONLY way and the ONLY starting point from which we can show grace to others. We can only give away what we have been given. And the reason we have been given grace is not just for us, but to give away to others.
Apply: Take a moment to mentally or physically make a list of all the reasons God would have to condemn you and declare you guilty of sin. Then visualize or mark a cross on your paper and write with big letters, “NOT GUILTY.” How does it feel to be the recipient of God’s amazing grace?
Prayer:
1 By grace I’m saved, grace free and boundless;
my soul, believe and doubt it not.
Why stagger at this word of promise?
Has Scripture ever falsehood taught?
No; then this word must true remain:
by grace you too shall heav’n obtain.
3 By grace God’s Son, our only Savior,
came down to earth to bear our sin.
Was it because of your own merit
that Jesus died your soul to win?
No, it was grace, and grace alone,
that brought him from his heav’nly throne.
6 By grace! On this I’ll rest when dying;
in Jesus’ promise I rejoice;
for though I know my heart’s condition,
I also know my Savior’s voice.
My heart is glad, all grief has flown,
since I am saved by grace alone.
Is Grace at the heart of your church…your life?
Today’s devotion builds on the thoughts from Sunday’s Sermon – Week 3 of “Compelled – Living the Value of Visible Grace” (LISTEN HERE).
Is grace at the heart of your church…your life?
Recently I was talking with a more recent attender of our church whose daughter and grand children go to our sister church and the school part of that ministry. She asked, “Is grace at the center of the Lutheran church?” Before fully answering, I asked, “Yes, but tell me why you ask that?”
She went on to explain that she has heard that word and concept more from her family who has been attending the Lutheran church near by and in our services.
Wow! What better observation to see, feel and experience than grace! Without any prompting to see this reality play out in our churches teaching and practice.
Grace was the key breaking point of Martin Luther away from the Catholic Church. Was our salvation secured by our effort or by God’s gift? The Scriptures clearly put our salvation squarely on the heart and gift of God. Period. Sola gratia (by grace alone.)
Grace is and should be at the heart of a church’s theology. Really there is no other reason to exist and there is no other doctrine or teaching that makes sense apart from understanding and making grace the center of it…as the Scripture does.
The Apostle Paul realized that his work had been all centered on performance and effort, until it wasn’t. Only when the power of the Spirt and encounter with Jesus did he realize that his salvation was not based on the zeal and effort of his works, but on the gift of God. He too made this the heart of his life’s mission:
Acts 20:24 However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.
As one’s who have been given the gift of grace, this too is the heart of our belief, our theology. May God allow us always to treasure it…and live it!
As the conversation mentioned above continued, the comment was made, “My daughter is always talking about grace to her kids. I hear her more often say, “We have to show them some grace.” While the specific situation wasn’t shared, it was alluded that the person to whom grace had to be shared was not always “worthy” of it. How true is that?
Grace must not just be at the heart of our theology, it must be at the heart of our church visibly too! Grace always must be given, and always implies a deficit. We did not earn God’s grace, yet he gives it. As we have been given grace, we too must be ready and willing to give that grace away…in most if not all cases where the person has done nothing to deserve it (which is why it is grace!)
This week’s devotions we want to understand what “showing grace” looks like as we interact with each other. Because honestly sometimes our churches are not filled with grace. It may be talked about, but it may not always be visible. It may look like what was going on in the Galatian churches that Paul had to address:
Galatians 5:13 You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. 14 For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” 15 If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.
So my prayer is that as grace is at the heart of our church theologically, it will also be in the depths of our hearts personally, so that it may always flow from us visibly.
Apply: Evaluate: What is your appreciation of the grace of God? How well do you do at “showing grace” to others?
Prayer: Lord, thank you for the amazing gift of grace which you give to us freely. As we apprehend this gift by faith, we ask that the grace you have shown to us may more readily flow from us to others. AMEN.
Does uncondtional love have boundaries?
Today’s devotion builds on the thoughts from Sunday’s Sermon – Week 2 of “Compelled – Living the Value of Unconditional Love” (LISTEN HERE).
Are their boundaries to unconditional love?
The fear in showing unconditional love is that someone will take advantage of that love. In fact, a hypothesis that swirls in my mind is that conditional love comes from being burned by showing unconditional love.
What do I mean? Someone wrongs you and you love them anyway. They wrong you again. You love again. They wrong you again. Done loving unless…
It’s understandable. So are their limits to unconditional love? Here are a few thoughts…
- Unconditional love does have boundaries but not conditions.
The Good Samaritan did not stay at the hotel until the man was able to leave. He offered to reimburse the inn keeper (boundaries), but he didn’t expect anything back from the injured man (unconditional).
Luke 10:35 The next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’
- Unconditional love can be rejected without making it conditional.
Matthew 23:37 “Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing.
Jesus realized the people he desired to experience his unconditional love pushed it away. He did not force his love on them or force them to love them. His heart wanted the people to experience the unconditional love he brought.
People in our lives can reject our love. It hurts because our heart longs for them to experience that love. While our love is always available, it is not forced upon someone. It hurts when our love is pushed away, but when someone pushes our love away it doesn’t mean we have put conditions on it.
- Unconditional love engenders love not selfishness.
1 John 4:19 We love because he first loved us. 20 Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.
Our response to unconditional love is unconditional love. When a person continues to spurn the love of God, they remove themselves from the blessing of God’s love. This may be the same for our love. Our desire is that showing unconditional love will engender unconditional love in response. When it is spurned, one may be removed from the benefit and blessing of our unconditional love.
- Behavior does not conditionalize unconditional love, but behavior comes in line with unconditional love.
2 Corinthians 5:14 For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. 15 And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.
Christ’s love for us is not conditional on our performance, but our performance is driven by the love we have been shown by Christ. Therefore, our unconditional love affects others in a way that they are also compelled to show unconditional love to others.
So what does that mean in our church culture?
The unconditional love of Christ is to work into our hearts and to spill over into the lives of others. There may be situations where the boundary of love is raised when love is spurned or rejected. However, it is our prayer that Christ’s unconditional love fills our heart and lives and through us is shown to others. When others see the love of Christ in us and among us, it is our prayer that this culture and value of unconditional love becomes engrained and experienced in all of us.
Apply: Ask the Lord to help you see where you can grow in your love and foster the culture of unconditional love in your relationships and in your church.
Prayer: Lord, let the peace of Christ rule in our hearts, since as members of one body we were called to peace. In all things, may we be thankful. 16 Let the message of Christ dwell among us richly as we teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to you Lord with gratitude in our hearts. 17 And whatever we do, whether in word or deed, may we do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. AMEN (adapted from Colossians 3:15-17)